coming home in song

As the words fill the air around me,

I remember all of those other times far, far into the past where I listened to this song and felt it become a part of me.

I am reminded of that bond and relishes in its sweetness.

I feel like I've come home in a way.
That a part of me that has been lost for so long has finally been found.
That my heart has remembered how to feel as it once did.
But there is one difference between then and now.


The pain I felt then,

the pain that clouded such sweet moments in song is gone.

I have nothing but the taste of vanilla on my tongue,
the scent of cinnamon in my nose,
the sight of misty colors caught in a whirlwind,
and sounds.

So many, many sounds...


later tonight




I'm feeling...
romantic.
fantastical

and not all at the same time.


I want to fall in love



I want to meet someone who could be my friend forever.


Someone who would come to understand me so well,
he could take care of me the way I want.


I want to know all there is to know about him
I want to recognize in him all of things he has never told anyone.

I want to see into his heart and know it better than my own.


Give me his name at least!!


Let me know the letters, the silly symbols we create to make glorious sound.

Let me know the string of sounds that make up his name. That put into words the essence of his soul.


Alas!


If I knew his name, and I met anyone with his name that was not him, I would cry and ruin the relationship I could have had with that man.

If I know his name, I would not really see him the first time I met him. I would see only someone with the name of my beloved.

And I would break.




Oh but it must be a lovely name.



Once more, I am resigned.

I will wait a while longer.

I will listen, and watch, and pray.


And prepare for that day


That day when we meat, and I see in him an everlasting friend.

A day that would start many other days of goodness and growing love.

Even though there will be hardships.... He will be there.

Whether he is miles away like he is now or so close I could touch him... I would still feel him near as I do now.

So my resignation fills with hope.


It does not matter that I do not know his name.

He is close.

He is near.









He is in my heart.