"I wish I knew what he was thinking when he looks at me and smiles."
I don't know where the quote is from, or if it's even worthy of a quotation.... but I saw it on Facebook flair, and it struck a chord. How can you wish something when you haven't even witnessed the thing the wish had supposedly sprung from? So, I rewrite the quote. "I wish I knew him, that when our eyes met, I could see his soul brighten in recognition of my own."......I guess that's a bit different than how the first quote was.... : P
Turning of the subject to something that is such a big part of myself.
My choir teacher has been so for the past two years. All of my choir teachers (I've had two : P ) have become very dear to me, and they both have influenced me greatly.
My choir teacher at present must be truly led by the spirit. He had us do an exercise to try and show the other students the concept of the overtone series. I am familiar with it (though I'm far beyond apt at the subject, I'm in his music theory class... and will probably fail the A.P. test come may :P ) so I just sat back and listened to a class of 164 students sing the overtone series, gradually getting more and more in tune.... Something happened... See, for so long I've wanted to listen to the pure tone of glory that is music.... I didn't realize that what I have been yearning for so long had a name.. or an explanation... But as I sit here explaining what happened today, trying to help you understand the.. completeness I felt in those moments, I find the words to describe what had been my deepest wish for the longest of time.
I have wanted, yearned for the perfect overtone series.... The ability to fill my lungs with air and to effortlessly (or close enough to effortlessly) slip into perfect harmony with those around me.. or the nature around me, actually. Today was something of a beginning. I sat there. My back was straight and supported. My shoulders lined perfectly with my neck and head.. My hips squarely set on my seat, that great space within her expanding and growing, my secret reservoir of breath. Following my teachers instructions I sang the octave of some note or other and listened to it blossom around me. The basses and altos holding the root of the chord, the tenors on the fifth, and the sopranos (that's me, second soprano)on the octave... What wonder took place in that room today... Though we struggled to get in key (we did just come back from break : P ) the glory was there.... The feeling of utter... connection. The feeling of being utterly.. whole, complete, connected end to beginning... what I would give to feel it around me once more.. To stand with my closest of friends and each of us slip into the overtones of some note... To feel that pull that comes from singing... Energy being pulled up from the very depths of your being of your own volition... oh glory be.. Sometimes, when I go somewhere removed from other human civilizations (even though sometimes they're no more than a few yards away : P )I let out a note... there was a place in Virginia in which I did this most.. I rarely do it here in this desert.. But in Virginia, next to the rapids of the creak.. The sound of its innate power and wonder released out into the air before me... I would let out a note.. I never truly did get it right.. But sometimes I got close and I would let out the note and it would fill me up.. Fill the air around me, twisting, sinuously joining itself to the sound of the creak and all of the life around me.... At least, this is what I had tried to do... I realize that now, I never did get the right note, never truly captured the sound of that magnificent example of nature... But I think I could have.. If I had friends, companions with me who understood.. and we could stand there... together... and each let out a separate note, a note that could combine with the creak's own natural overtone... That to me... would embody it's very spirit.. and in doing so give me a taste of something I have only felt in this life... I have felt a small portion of the spirit of water, rock, air, and fire. I have never been able to voice this feeling.. But if we could get it right.. if we could connect all of us to each other and to the earth around us.. I think we could give voice to their spirits.
hmph. silly? most definitely.
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