Today I found out that the same friend who might have leukemia has decided that she's lesbian. I don't know if it's just for her girlfriend, and I'm happy for her, but I'm also a little sad. I'm glad she's found support, finally. And I'm glad she's willing to accept help, but something about the situation is making me sad. I think lesbian and gays are cute, a lot of times cuter than other straight couples.
Maybe it's because her heart is too weak to withstand leukemia treatment. Maybe it's because if it doesn't work out between her and her girlfriend, and my friend dies... She'll never know. Maybe it's because if she doesn't die, she'll be heading down a path I can't call her back from and she won't be able to hear anyone for a long time probably.
Maybe it's because, no matter what happens, I'll be losing a friend that I had hoped would come back. I had hoped that she would see the immense strength I see in her.
That she would see the source of that strength.
And be thankful to the right source for every breath she has in her.
I had hoped that she could know.
But she may never do that now.
And now all I can hope for is that she has amazing teachers later in her life, or in the next, whichever comes first.
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