I wanted so much to run away last night. To run away into the fast flow of the future. But I can't. Mom taught me to see again. My mind, my heart taught me to look, to search, to find. All of those things that make life so beautiful and wondrous. But Mom is teaching me to see and find things that are not so gorgeous in the way I'm used to. She's teaching me to see the truth in myself.
Seeing the truth is harder than seeing the beauty sometimes.
And a part of me doesn't want to see the truth. A part of me wants to turn away. Wants to ignore what Mom says and jump ahead into the future and all that could lie ahead of me.
But I know what would happen if I leaped before I ran.
I would lose so much.
And so many people would be affected by it, even if I didn't know.
So I'll have to learn to sit and learn quietly in mind and spirit.
Oh heart, how will we not leap?
How will we not try to fly?
Somehow.
I'll learn.
I'll learn to see the truth.
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