Maybe there was something to all those words about waking up with the sun.
I woke up before the sun climbed into my little crescent of the valley.
I like that word: Crescent.
I like it because it has a secret in it. You type it out and there's that secret "c" that you can barely hear when you whisper it.
Crescent.
Anyway.
I love my cat. I love my house, I love the big fat windows. We have horrid lighting in these apartments, all of the windows face south or north, none of them in direct line with the sun.
But the windows themselves, the amount of light that creeps into the south-facing window during the morning is magnificent. I love the view, too. It's all bare branched trees and mountains, albeit the fat building across the parking lot. I still haven't decided what color that building is. It's a golden tan without that brown tint that's in most bricks. It's almost unnatural, really.
Anyway.
I love how the sun rises. It's like a secret delight. You don't really notice how much it truly moves until you think how dark the room used to be. It's such a steady change, this unchangeable force bringing light into the room, the house, the life of whoever is there to notice it.
I realized recently just how majestic our mountains are. Now that I have glasses to see them, I can see how truly... true they are.
They are untouched majesty and.... power. I just love how no matter where you go in Provo, you look up and BAM. True untainted proof of God and mercy and justice. True, natural all moving justice and grace.
Gosh, I'm feeling good today.
It must've been the sunrise.
It was like a sunrise in my heart.
"Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to hurt you feel inside
Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to hurt you feel
I was brought up through the ashes
Like a phoenix birthing wings
And I will fight for my disasters
I will take the flight of kings
And if your life is ever torched
Or if you know the pain I sing
Then will you sing with me this chorus
And we will cut through people's hearts and free them"
Gosh that sun is gorgeous. Sigh I'm coming down from that ecstatic joy I had a few moments ago.
I'm becoming more comfortable with myself and my doubts and fears, my sins and repressions.
Sigh.
Oh, I think my ride is here.
Ope, nope.
Sometimes I feel so old.
And not the old that everyone thinks about, but the other type. The ancient type.
You see, sometimes, I feel so infinite.
Like I'm doing something that has been done, or was almost done, or was denied so many times that I'm just walking in a path that I've always known.
And it's not a bad feeling or a caged feeling or anything like that
It's more like a comfort, a reassurance.
Like; I've done this before, I've always done this and I'm where I'm meant to be as I always have been. I choose my path but I've already chosen it, it's all past and future and present, but that's okay because I know that either way, I'll be taken care of and I'll be cared for. Because I am who I am and that's amazing. I am who I am because I am someone bright and wonderful and I have a potential like none other known. I will be who I am meant to be and everything will work out as it has done and will continue doing.
It's quite an amazing feeling, actually.
Anywho, I should get going. Be true.
